


'Til Week Do Us Part

by Loafy_Loaf



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Buzzfeed AU, F/F, Fake Marriage, Hermione is smitten and flustered and the whole Internet knows it, The real fake dating au tbh, there is a deficit of Fleurmione fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7343128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loafy_Loaf/pseuds/Loafy_Loaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione was an exemplary employee of Buzzfeed. The Internet knew her mostly as The Brains behind the Golden Trio, a beloved group with an extensive playlist of viral videos. It wasn't uncommon for her to star in other videos as well. Except...this time, she was getting married? To her crush? The flawless French blogger on the upper floor? ...Wonderful. </p><p>Modern Fleurmione</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Single People Get Ambushed

“…I’m a what?” Hermione asked.

“A married woman!” Ginny repeated with an unfailing grin. She handed her friend a pink cupcake with the word “Congrats!” written in tiny purple frosting.

“…When did I propose? Or rather, who proposed to me?? I think I would have known if I was being proposed to!” Hermione rambled in an increasingly higher voice.

“Not in real life, silly! For a video!”

“Ginerva Weasley-Potter! When will you learn to open with the important details first?”

Her friend giggled as she sat on the free swivel chair next to Hermione’s desk. “Remember when Harry and I filmed that one video when I was on vacation with my family?”

“The ‘Couples Break Up For a Week’ video? Of course I do. It was super cute and also utterly disgusting,” Hermione said. In all honesty, Harry and Ginny were the most married thing since marriage. The amount of love that they packed into those six minutes of edited footage was nauseating. And even though Ginny was gone for only a few days, they made a viral video out of it. The employees of Buzzfeed could make a video out of anything.

“Weeeell,” Ginny continued, “Ron and I thought it would be great if we did some companion videos where single people get married to each other for a week. What do you think?”

Hermione slumped into her chair and huffed. “Why me? Why is it always me?”

“You’re a part of the Golden Trio! You’re one of the most well known faces of Buzzfeed! Why wouldn’t it be you?”

“What about Ron? He’s a part of the segment, too!”

“Well yeah, but you know he has that on-and-off thing with Lavender. Best to leave that be.”

Hermione pursed her lips before she hesitantly nodded in agreement. “…Fine. I’ll be a slave to your creative arts. It’s not like this is the worse thing I’ve had to do for YouTube.” After all…there’s a video where she literally tries different flavors of lube. Thank God her parents weren’t techno-savvy enough to search for every video she’s been in.

“Excellent!” Ginny exclaimed with a clap, “Meet me in the interview room at two.” She rose out of her chair to start setting up, but a firm hand on her shoulder pushed her back down.

“Hold on,” Hermione said, “Who exactly am I getting married to?”

Ginny’s smile suddenly turned mischievous, which only brought a sense of serious foreboding. “Now, where’s the fun in that? You’ll find out soon enough.” With that said, Ginny quickly scurried away before the blogger could prod her further.

“What a little weasel,” Hermione muttered. She glared at her best friend, whose desk was directly across from hers. “Your wife is a weasel!”

“And that’s why I love her,” Harry replied, not even blinking as he continued to type his article.

Hermione scowled at the lack of response before she turned to her own computer. Hopefully, she’ll be able to get some actual work done before saying goodbye to the single life.

* * *

 “I’m going to make Harry a widow,” Hermione muttered, “And this time, that’s a promise.” In the middle of the room, bathed in the camera lights, stood the largest girl crush Hermione had ever had in her 25 years of living: Fleur Delacour. The new French employee looked as beautiful as always in her blue blouse and dress pants and perfectly curled hair and hooooo boy, Ginny was a dead woman.

“Actually, Harry would be a widower, not a widow,” Luna corrected, looking serene as always from behind the camera.

“…Thanks Luna.”

“No problem.”

“Hermione!” Ginny exclaimed, “Aww. You’re super early! I was hoping to blindfold you and everything!”

Hermione pulled her friend to the side. “I’m going to kill you.”

“You can thank me later. Maybe in a speech when you two get married for realsies!”

The brightest blogger of Buzzfeed ran a hand through her messy hair. “Why do I tell you anything?”

Ginny pouted. “Is this the thanks I get for all of my string-pulling?”

“I never asked you to do this! What on earth brought you to do this?” Hermione whisper-shouted.

The producer of BuzzFeedPeriwinkle tapped her chin in mock thought. “I don’t know. Maybe it was the fact that you couldn’t stop talking about the new French employee upstairs? With her amazing accent and gorgeous legs? Or maybe it’s because I wanted a friend who would actually talk to me during lunch instead of staring at her crush with the worst case of heart-eyes since Carmilla Karnstein appeared on the Internet. For God’s sake, you even called her Flawless Fleur. I could keep going, you know.”

At this point, Hermione’s face matched her red cardigan. And somehow, as if attuned to her emotions, her hair became frizzier than normal.

Noticing her distress, Ginny sighed. “I just want you to be happy, Hermione. And Lord knows you’re never going to make the first move. Give it a try.”

Before her friend could reply, however, the object of their conversation walked up to them both with a bemused expression.

“Excuse me? Is something wrong?” she asked in her lilting accent.

Hermione squeaked.

“…Nope! Nothing’s wrong,” Ginny answered as she subtly hip-checked Hermione to snap her out of her daze, “We’ll be starting soon. But before we record the actual interviews, we need to lay down some rules…which are currently sitting on my desk. I’ll be right back! Until then, please, get to know each other.” As she walked away, Ginny turned around and gave Hermione a double thumbs up over Fleur’s shoulder.

Hermione considered bolting, but before she could commit, Fleur smiled radiantly at her and extended a hand. “Hello, Hermione. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. My name is Fleur Delacour.”

She took the offered hand, praying that her palms weren’t sweaty. “I know,” Hermione stuttered, “You’re the Lesbian Princess.” After a moment, Hermione realized she should have probably given more context. “From that video! Yeah. I uh…heard it was a big hit.”

Psh. That was certainly a lie. She probably contributed to a hundred of those views herself.

Fleur’s smile widened. “Oui, that was me. And you are the Brains of the Golden Trio.”

Hermione tried to return the expression, but she probably winced if anything. “Yup. That’s me. With Ron being the Comedic Relief and Harry being the Poster Boy, they had to have someone with a bit of common sense.” While it was true that they played to their online personas, if it weren’t for her, those two would have probably died from one of their attempts to make their videos more exciting.

“I have been watching your segment since the very beginning,” Fleur said, “Even before I was hired by Buzzfeed. I am excited to finally work with you!” Fleur clasped Hermione’s hands in hers and squeezed in the name of coworker friendship.

My poor bisexual heart, Hermione thought as she held her breath.

Ginny interrupted the panicking when she burst back into the room. “So! Bad news! I can’t find my notes!”

Luna skipped towards Ginny, presenting her with a clipboard.

“…Oh! Thanks, Luna.”

“No problem.”

“Alright, you two,” their producer said as she flipped through her papers, “Some ground rules. You’ll obviously be living together for the whole week. Sharing the bed, bathroom, the whole shebang. You’ll be spending most of your time outside of work together, which includes mealtimes. And, hey, if you want to shower together, be my guest.”

“Ginny!” Hermione screamed. Luckily, Fleur just chuckled and shrugged in jest.

“Don’t worry! You won’t have to film anything!”

“Ginny, I have your mother on speed-dial, I swear to God I will-“

“Also! You both have to plan one date for each other.”

“Only one?” Fleur asked, which effectively silenced Hermione.

“One, one hundred, you decide. It’s not my marriage,” Ginny said, “Luna will film you on the bigger moments of your marriage, such as moving-in day, the date nights, etc. So a large part of this project will involve you guys doing the filming yourselves to capture the small moments of marriage. Like reading side-by-side. Or waking up next to each other.”

“Sounds like fun,” Fleur said.

Sounds like heaven and hell, Hermione thought.

“And the most important part is…you have to cherish each other. All right? Interpret that however you will,” Ginny clapped her hands and squealed, “Now, let’s get started!”

* * *

 

**Interviews:**

**(Fleur ‘s posture is relaxed, leaving slightly towards the nervous Hermione, whose body language is even tenser than that one time she had to swim in a shark cage.)**  
  
**F: Hello, I’m Fleur!**  
  
**H: Hi, I’m Hermione!**  
  
**F: We are both going to marry each other for a week.**  
  
**H: Aaaaand we’ve known each other for five whole minutes! Hahaha…**

**(Hermione punched Fleur’s shoulder lightly, which garnered a vaguely amused look.)**

**(This time, they’re both standing alone. Hermione looks less uncomfortable, but still nervous.)**  
  
**H: To be honest, I don’t have that much experience with relationships. I’m looking for something for the long haul, so I’m not really into casually dating.**  
  
**F: When I was still living in France, I dated rather frequently with a number of different women. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but you never know who it will be unless you cast your line, no?**  
  
**H: Currently, I’ve been focusing on my career here at Buzzfeed. I think it will be very hectic trying to balance my work and home schedule around someone else’s. And in terms of meeting new people, unless I’m approached as if I was a small, woodland creature, I’m horrible at it.**  
  
**F: I love meeting new faces. Everyone has their own story. In this case, I have allotted time to get to know someone, which will be an interesting experience.**  
  
**H: Behind this smile, I’m actually hyperventilating.**  
  
**F: After some consideration, we have decided to stay at her house. I just moved into my apartment with my little sister, which is very small compared to her’s.**  
  
**H: I’m just praying that my cat likes her, or this just might not work out.**

**(They’re standing together again. Hermione has her arms crossed tightly, as if she was trying to physically hold herself together.)**

**H: So, um, worse case scenario? It gets super awkward, and we can never interact with each other ever again.**  
  
**F: Nonsense! At the very least, we will both have made a new friend.**  
  
**H: And best case…?**  
  
**F: We end up f**king.**

**(Hermione’s jaw drops as Fleur continues to beam innocently. Off-screen, Ginny cackles in glee. Hermione sputters for a moment before she collects herself.)**

**H: Ha! Yeah! Good one! Hahahaha…**

* * *

 

“This is actual gold,” Ginny whispered as Luna replayed a few of the interviews.

“I’m actually dying,” Hermione said in return, right before she chugged an entire water bottle.

“This will be the best. Week. Ever.”

“I’m calling your mom to tell her about your meddling.”

“You kidding me? She’s the one who suggested it.”

“…You’re all blood traitors, the lot of you.”


	2. Single People Bond For The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Fleur to move in! All Hermione has to do is survive the night without drowning in a sea of Awkward. ...It'll be great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to wkgreen, the first person to yell at me: Asketh and receiveth. Keep on yelling, my dude. *points and winks*

Day 1:

 

“Well, here we are!” Hermione said with a flourish. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the door before she turned towards her...wife…and her camerawoman.

“I’ll go in and set up,” Luna said, shifting her camera bag to her other hand, “I’ll call you both in when I’m ready.”

Hermione nodded, avoiding eye contact with her fellow newly wed until proper decorum demanded it. “So, um. It’s a little cluttered inside, but it’s home. Crookshanks can be a bit…wary around strangers. But I’m sure he’ll leave you alone, more or less.”

“Hopefully we can be friends,” Fleur said, “From what I have learned from your videos, your cat comes before any relationship.”

“Speaking of my videos...how many have you seen, exactly?”

Fleur paused. “Most of them, I believe. Certainly enough to know that Ron has a few scars from his first visit to your house.”

“I’ve only ever seen Crookshanks act out that one time! He’s usually much more well-mannered.”

“I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”

“Hopefully…and well…I suppose we’re on the same page. I’ve watched your videos too.” _All of them, in fact. At least twice._

"As amusing as they were,” Fleur continued with an inviting smile, “I must say I look forward to getting to know the woman behind the persona.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Hermione murmured, fidgeting under Fleur’s intense gaze. Shouldn’t Luna be done by now? How long does it take to get a camera out?

As Hermione continued to avoid Fleur’s eyes, the warm look on her face turned thoughtful. “So. Who shall carry whom over the threshold?”

The blogger coughed suddenly. “Excuse me?”

“It is a tradition, no? I believe that we should honor it.”

Hermione imagined Fleur in a suit of armor, offering to _literally_ sweep her off her feet. Did her crush actually ask her if she wanted to be carried into her own apartment, bridal-style? After a moment of secret indulgence, Hermione nodded hesitantly. “I’m sure the viewers would eat it up. But it’s my home, so please, allow me.”

“But Hermione…you are much smaller than me.”

At those words, Hermione’s nervous shoulders straightened. She puffed her chest in universal shorty rage. “I’m shorter than you by like, two inches!”

Fleur suddenly leaned in, hovering over her slightly. Still maintaining eye contact, Fleur smirked. “Those two inches make a difference, no?”

In a situation like this, Hermione would have gaped and stammered incomprehensible English. But luckily, her stubbornness only allowed a slight blush. With a huff, Hermione kneeled down, turning her back to Fleur. “Go on. Try me.” Ignoring the chuckle, she waited until Fleur was situated before she gripped her thighs firmly and stood up.

Fleur “oh!’d” in surprise, tightening her loose grip. “…Well, Miss Granger. Color me surprised.” Hermione grinned triumphantly until Fleur continued, “It’s not much of a view, but you’re stronger than you look.”

In retaliation, she jostled Fleur a bit in the guise of readjusting her grip. But when Fleur giggled into Hermione’s ear, she froze. Suddenly, she was hyperaware of Fleur’s presence pressed against her back. Hermione bit her lip to stop from dropping her crush right then and there.

“You two sweethearts can come in now!” Luna exclaimed from inside her apartment.         Hermione sighed, remembering the long week ahead of her. “Well. Let’s get this marriage started.”

* * *

 

**Day 1:**

**(Hermione enters the cozy-looking apartment with a piggybacking Fleur. Hermione looks out of her depth, but Fleur seems to be enjoying herself immensely.)**

**H: Welcome to my home! I mean…our home!**

**F: C’est magnifique!**

**H: Okay, we’re over the threshold. I’m going to let you down now.**

**(Fleur slides off Hermione’s back with surprising grace. Hermione blows a lock of disheveled hair out of her face.)**

**F: Just to let you know, viewers, I offered to carry her, but she insisted. I have married a stubborn one.**

**H: She called me short!**

**F: At least I know my wife works out. (She winks.)**

**(Before Hermione could respond, a ball of fur jumps from a shelf and onto her shoulder, startling her.)**

**H: Ahh! Crookshanks!**

**(After a bit of squirming, the cat finally settles comfortably in her arms.)**

**F: My, he is even cuter in person. (Fleur reaches forward, and to the surprise of Hermione and her entire fanbase, Crookshanks just stares at her hand lazily before sniffing it. After a moment, Fleur moves to stroke the feline’s head, which he accepts without fuss.)**

**H: …What on Earth?**

**F: I think he likes me!**

**H: How did you do that?? It took years before he could even tolerate Ron!**

**F: He must know we’re married. I would take this as a sign that he approves, no?**

**H: Unbelievable.**

**(After Hermione helps Fleur bring her bags in, they both enter the bedroom.)**

**F: Mon Dieu…Hermione, are you sure this is not your library?**

**H: I just found out I was getting married today, so I didn’t have time to clean up…**

**(Hermione’s room has overflowing shelves. There are books stacked precariously on every surface. The only bare surface is the bed, which is surprisingly meticulously made.)**

**F, interview: I knew that Hermione was an avid reader, but it took me by surprise just how much she lived and breathed books. I would be concerned if it didn’t seem as if she had her whole life together, anyway.**

**F: And I thought your living room was full of books. How do you keep track of everything?**

**H: There’s an organized chaos to this, I promise.**

**(Montage of them transporting books into the living room.)**

**H, interview: I am such a mess. I’m just good at faking everything, I guess.**

* * *

 

“That should be good for now,” Luna said, lowering her camera, “Get settled for tonight. If you want to document anything, just use your phones.”

“Leaving so soon?” Hermione asked, “Are you sure you don’t want dinner or something?” She was offering as a sign of courtesy, of course. It wasn’t like she was sweating bullets at the thought of being alone with Fleur or anything. Not at all.

“I’ve already eaten,” Luna said, packing her things, “And so have you two. I think you two should get to know each other. Or, if you’re tired, just cuddle and go to sleep.”

Hermione opened her mouth, but no words came out. Cuddling? That sounded…fantastic. And honestly, she would set herself on fire before that would ever happen.

“I think we will take your advice, Luna,” Fleur said as she held the door open, “I hope you have a lovely night.”

Luna hummed in response and waved, removing herself as the buffer.

Fleur closed the door and picked up her suitcase. “I think I will change for the night. And then perhaps we could chat?”

Hermione nodded mutely. Once Fleur left, she went into her room and threw herself on her bed. After groaning into her pillow for a solid minute, she reached over and pulled a drawer open. She might as well change too. And maybe brush her teeth in the kitchen sink. As awkward as it might be to face Fleur alone, it’d be worse if she just left her to her own devices.

* * *

 

“You’re kidding me.”

Fleur looked down at her silk pajamas. “What do you mean?”

Hermione gestured at Fleur, who still looked radiant with her bare face and unpinned hair. Then she waved a hand over herself. Her hair was in a messy braid, and her pajamas consisted of a large math club shirt and plaid-patterned fleece pants. “Are you going to a photo-shoot?”

Fleur slid onto the bed next to Hermione, stealing her cat pillow. “Aw. You’re sweet.”

Hermione averted her eyes back to her computer, responding with a quiet “it’s nothing.” Typing a few more sentences, she closed her laptop and set it aside so she could lean against the bedpost. “So…what do you want to talk about?” she asked as she literally twiddled her thumbs.

“Well, I would like to get to know you better. Tell me about yourself.”

Hermione glanced at Fleur’s curious eyes before she decided to stare straight ahead. At least it’ll be easer to talk to her since they were sitting side by side; eye contact wasn’t mandatory.

“Um…cats are my favorite animals. My favorite color is blue. I love reading, no matter what type of genre it is,” Hermione bit her lip in thought, “…And pumpkin pie is my personal ambrosia?”

Fleur laughed. “Hermione, you sound like a nervous high school transfer.”

She shrugged. She certainly felt like she was being scrutinized like one. Hermione could feel Fleur’s eyes on her even without looking at her. And strangely enough, Fleur inched closer until their arms were touching. Did the French have smaller space bubbles?

“Though I’ve never met one, I’d have to say that otters are my favorite. I’m a fan of autumn colors, and I own a collection of shells. My favorite flavor of anything is vanilla.”

Hermione nodded, filing the information to the back of her head. Maybe some tidbit will help her plan a date for later this week.

“Hermione, I could not help but notice. Other than your millions of books, you seem to have a few DVDs as well. So tell me…what is Person of Interest?”

Suddenly, at that golden question, Hermione couldn’t shut up.

* * *

 

Somehow, hours passed before they noticed the time.

“It looks like we got carried away,” Fleur said, passing Hermione her phone.

“Holy crap,” Hermione replied. She returned the phone and pushed herself off her bed. Reaching her desk, she grabbed and brandished a candle. “Is it okay if I light this up? It’s my attempt towards aromatherapy. And even if it doesn’t do anything, at least it smells nice?”

Fleur nodded. “Go right ahead.”

Rummaging for her box of matches, she lit the candle and made jazz hands. “Ta-da!”

“Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Granger?”

“I literally just told you this was for aromatherapy.”

“And the ambience is just a bonus, hm?”

Hermione rolled her eyes, but she smiled anyway. There was something about the dim lights and the late hour that set her at ease. She was much more comfortable with Fleur now. And she never imagined talking to her would be this easy. For once, she was optimistic about this whole fake marriage.

“Um…Hermione?”

“Hm?”

“…Your shirt is burning.”

Hermione looked down and yelped, pulling her baggy sleeve away from the flame. She pouted at the singed edge. “Aw…this is one of my favorite shirts.”

* * *

 

**(Hermione and Fleur’s faces are grainy and in lower quality, suggesting that they recorded the video with a phone. Fleur is laughing while an embarrassed Hermione stands behind her.)**

**F: The most amazing thing happened tonight.**

**H: Fleeeeeur! Please!**

**(Fleur moves the phone so that it faces a burning candle.)**

**F: In an attempt to create a romantic mood, Hermione actually literally caught herself on fire. (She points the phone’s camera to Hermione’s singed sleeve.)**

**H, interview: I swear to God, it was for aromatherapy.**

**F, interview: It got to see Hermione pout for the first time. It was the most endearing thing I have ever seen. (She laughs.)**

**H, interview: She said what? …Oh my God. (Hermione covers her face and groans.)**

* * *

 

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” Hermione asked after she changed into a new shirt. This time, it was short-sleeved. They were both lying on the bed in the dark, in the hopes that they’d fall asleep within the hour.

“Not if I can help it.”

Hermione grunted before she burrowed further into the blankets. They were so soft. And she was so tired. Just as she felt herself drifting off, Fleur couldn’t help but make one last comment.

“I guess you could say we’re a perfect _match_ , no?”

“Fleur, shut _up._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heck yeah, I'm gonna end with a pun. Yell at me if you want an update (b/c gentle bullying does help, in my case) or if you hate puns.


End file.
